Successful, happy marriage? Who knew!

I have had a lot of people ask me how my husband and I can be so happy? We both work full time, are trying our best to raise 2 kids, have stress, different hobbies, different opinions, but at the end I think we have almost figured out this marriage thing nicely. My husband Javy is laid back, care free, and very quiet. I am uptight, always stressed, loud and sometime obnoxious. How do we manage to get along?

Here are some ideas that work for us and our family.

• I will preach this until my face is blue. A family that eats together stays together. My family eats together EVERY single night. Not on the couch, not on the floor, not anywhere but at the kitchen table. We talk about our days events, laugh, dance, sing etc. I will make my family do this until the day I die. I feel like it really keeps us connected and strengthens that sense of "family" among us. PS. don't start eating until everyone is sitting down. This is just polite.
• Be on the same page with parenting.  Kids can make or break a couple- let it make you stronger and better people! In order to effectively co-parent our kids together, we are always each others biggest supporter. I will never say "Yes" when daddy says "No" He will never tell me (in front of the kids) that I am being too nice or too mean. We are  in it together, we talk to each other about what to do in trying, desperate, melt down times. Javy is teaching our children to respect their mother 100%, he doesn't even let Xavier tell me no or treat me with an ounce of disrespect. I love this, my husband really does have my back!

• Communicate. Need I say more? This is a must. You must talk to each other, keep each other in the loop on things, make decisions together, and talk through thoughts. If you can't talk to each other about things, what can you do? Talking is so easy!!

• Listen. Sounds easy, but not so much . .Don't just hear what the other person says, but truly listen. Remember what they are telling you. Even if you don't care. Just do it, it shows you care. Do I care about what kind of hunting bow my husband has or wants? Nope, not at all. But I am going to listen to him talk about it because it means a lot to him.
• Have the same priorities. This is a hard one. As you get older in a marriage you both change. Sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the better. You get new hobbies, you get bored of old hobbies, your priorities change. Make sure your priorities always stay in check. To me, they are: My children, my husband, my career. As my kids get older and don't depend on me as much I suspect my husband will come first. I don't think Javy's career is on his top 3 priority list, but I think our top 2 match up.   
• Don't be selfish. This one is what it is, but it's hard to put other people before yourself! Guess what I don't feel like cooking . .well, ever. But I do it because I know my family needs a good hearty meal each night. Their needs come first, not mine. Javy will drop anything at any given moment if I ask him for something, he will always put my needs first before his own. 
• Be each other biggest supporter.. No matter what I choose to do, Javy is always on the sideline cheering me on. From making a career move to loosing weight, he was there to pick me up when I was down. 
• Be honest. If something is bothering you, be vocal and honest about your concerns. Never ever tell a lie. Lying is a recipe for disaster in a relationship. It starts with small white lies, and builds from there until you are actually lying to yourself. I bet sometimes Javy wishes I would just shut up, because I will tell him everything that is bothering me. 
• Be friends. When I say be friends, I mean; get along,hug, have fun together, like hanging out, make each other laugh, and smile. Javy and I really do everything together as a family. We look forward to our days off to we can all hang out. I can honestly say that Javy is my best friend. I would rather hang out with him than anyone else. 
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A relationship and marriage is work folks. Hard, grueling work. Don't get me wrong, Javy and I have had our fair share of ups and downs. The key is to not let the downs keep you down. Make it better. But making it better takes work from both sides- remember that! The pay off for that work is well worth it. What can be better than spending your life with someone you love and have fun with, and having your kids see the meaning of love everyday. 

I love sitting back and thinking of where Javy and I came from. 2 young kids working to have fun, not a care in the world, and both NEVER wanting to be married. To today: Two young adults, who have worked hard, played hard and loved hard. Blessed with 2 children, and a beautiful life together.

We are in this life together, we are a team. I couldn't ask for a better person to grow old with and share all my memories with.